How old am I?

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Re: How old am I?

Postby Silent Eyes » May 25th, 2012, 5:02 pm

     


How Old Am I?


A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000
and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at
a newsstand and buys a paper.
Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me
asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the
same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".
"I am actually 47."
Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same
question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I
was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my
hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will
be able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her
slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."


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Re: How old am I?

Postby My Love » May 18th, 2012, 5:18 pm

Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch, the man takes a sip and sighs, "Ah, now that`s the real thing."


A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, "Hey, I think that`s really far out what you can do. Try this one."


The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, "Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!"


The drunk`s eyes light up and he says, "Yeah, now how old am I?"


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Joined: July 30th, 2011, 11:23 am

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